But, but, but, SHE’S FAT!
Something to make you see red today: “Congrats on the role of a lifetime, Gabourey Sidibe. Self-esteem is a beautiful thing. But we should celebrate your performance, not your size. Obesity is a national epidemic.”
Hey, Gabby, you may be an amazing actress and you may have high self-esteem and you may be really satisfied right now because you’re smart and beautiful and talented and successful BUT! You’re a fatty-fat-fat! So quit acting like you deserve happiness.
So putting aside the PC platitudes, the facts tell a different story. Yes, Sidibe is a promising performer, one who’s already generating Oscar buzz. So if we just stick to her acting, kudos. But if we’re talking about her size—which has become part of the conversation—are people delusional? A five-foot-something woman tipping the scales at over 300 pounds is not something to celebrate. That’s SUPER fat, and no matter how passionately you argue the opposite, medical science will pull the plug on that position: Your health will suffer from carrying such an extreme amount of weight. Obesity can lead to a host of dangerous health issues including high blood pressure, diabetes, respiratory problems and sleep apnea—and that’s just the short list. When you’re extremely overweight, even walking becomes a struggle.
And what about the psychological issues? As well adjusted as Sidibe purports to be, there’s got to be an emotional disconnect between the mind and body. Finding comfort eating one’s way to morbid obesity is not healthy, nor is it self-affirming.
The author also criticizes the hyper-skinny norms in Hollywood and advertising, and concludes that we should all just be healthy — she cites a 180-pound woman in Glamour Magazine and the Dove Real Beauty campaign as steps in the right direction. She writes:
Real women can, and do, have curves; people do come in all different shapes and sizes. So the message is to be the healthiest you. That means not hauling around a mountain of excess of weight that limits activities and invites health problems. Nor does it mean starving yourself or over-exercising to the brink of cardiovascular failure. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself, but always striving to be better. If you’re overweight, say yes to dropping some pounds, but do so with an emphasis on obtaining better health.
So… people come in shapes and sizes, except really skinny and really fat. And Alicia is the arbitrator of what’s what.
I also support healthy eating and exercise. I think we should do more to make healthy foods accessible; we should do more to make exercise a reasonable possibility (that means more leisure time, more sidewalks, more parks, more open spaces in urban areas, accessible spaces for people with disabilities, and better healthcare so that people feel good and are physically able to move and to exercise). I think food is a great pleasure, and we all deserve to eat food that nourishes us and keeps us healthy. I think exercise is fun, and we all deserve access to it, whatever that means given our physical abilities. These are good things. I even think that, beyond making them accessible and available, we should incentivize them.
But, a couple of caveats. If, despite the availability of healthy food, someone wants to sit on their couch all day and eat Big Macs? Wouldn’t be my choice, and I don’t understand it, but, meh. Go for it. Not really my business. And even if we all ate healthy, nourishing food, and even if we all exercised, there would still be fat people. There would also be skinny people. And online columnists who have no idea what Gabby Sidibe eats or how often she exercises would still be totally unqualified to evaluate her physical and mental health.
My first thought: over 300? Really? I would have said around 230. Fantastic! Really fit and tightened up!
I think she looks great, and I’d love a close-up of her purty blue ring.
(Good God, did they really use the term “Disgusting Fat Pig” in the first paragraph of the article?)
“If, despite the availability of healthy food, someone wants to sit on their couch all day and eat Big Macs? Wouldn’t be my choice, and I don’t understand it, but, meh. Go for it. Not really my business.”
But Jill, it is your business because it affects you and me. When people become obese they are more disposed to having health problems and in turn drive up medical costs by consuming healthcare services for problems that could have been prevented. They hurt themselves and typically their children are hurt by having a greater chance of becoming obese themselves. Of course, some larger people cannot control their size and are healthy in spite of it. Likewise, some skinny people are very unhealthy. But some obese people are bad, lazy, stupid people. Quit being PC and admit some of them need to get off the couch, chuck the brownies, and grab an apple and go for a walk once in a while.
wow. I was really hoping the fat shaming wouldn’t start til at least the 5th comment.
Sure, some obese people are bad, lazy, stupid people. So are some skinny people, and some in-between people. Yes, unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle affects you and me by driving up medical costs; that’s part of the reason why I don’t have a problem incentivizing healthy eating and exercise, assuming we also make healthy food widely available. Smoking drives up health costs; so do young men who take stupid risks in disproportionate numbers. As I said in the post, I’m all in favor of promoting healthy lifestyles.
But, other than just being a dick, what’s your point? Ok, yes, more people (thin, fat and in-between) should grab an apple and go for a walk. I should grab an apple and go for a walk more often. Believe me, I think that message is out there loud and clear. But if they don’t want to do that… I dunno, so what? People make unhealthy choices all the time by doing things like smoking; they put themselves at risk of physical injury by playing certain sports which are relatively likely to do them harm (rugby, skiing, football, whathaveyou). Part of supporting other people in society is recognizing that we don’t all make perfect choices, and while good behavior should be incentivized, we still owe it to everyone to care for them when they’re sick and not act like totally morally superior asshats when they make different choices than we do.
And, of course, it goes without saying that many, many thin and not-fat people have ridiculously unhealthy lifestyles, and have health problems as a result; many, many fat people have very healthy lifestyles. What’s the point of finger-pointing and attacking all fat people?
FYI to everyone, future fat-shaming comments will be deleted. I’m only responding to this one because it somehow made its way out of the mod queue.
Wow Derek! What an original argument! I imagine that none of us here had ever heard that one before! No one has ever previously suggested that people should do exactly what you want with their own bodies, and that you have the right to shame them for it if they refuse, because that’s, like, your tax dollars! Or something.
Please go back under the bridge from which you came.
No shit.
Derek, if you’re a man, it’s pretty much a lock that you’re going to be consuming more resources than women once you hit a certain age; heart disease and prostate cancer, you know? Under your theory, what do *you* plan to do to reduce the burden on *my* health care system? Sex change? Putting yourself on an ice floe? Moving to Sweden? Let’s hear it.
We should really re-think the way we treat people. Aren’t we all different in some way? AND did they really say “Stop acting like you deserve to be happy!” OMG!! That basically says that if there is something wrong with our bodies, we should be miserable about it. My daughter is 15 years old and 140 lbs. She’s about 5′5″ and she thinks she’s huge!! Well, she’s not of course, but that lack of self esteem comes from tv and people like the one who wrote this article!
Yes, maude forbid this woman be happy. She’s fat-fat-fatty-fat and no one, especially a woman, can be happy that way, dammit! /sarcasm
Has fat-phobia peaked yet?
All this really makes me want to scream. Every day I try so desperately just to keep the track of public thought out of my head. It’s all I can do to NOT be ashamed of being in public weighing what I do (260lbs). I have to not burst into tears every time I have move sideways to get through a passage my thinner friends made it through easily. Each time I bump into anything or appear to be anything less than stylish & tidy I become so self conscious I literally function w/tunnel vision. I don’t see anyone, I don’t hear anyone.
B/c it’s all I can do so that I won’t go back to eating in toilet stalls b/c I don’t want to be shamed by anyone seeing me eating anything that isn’t a fruit or veggie. Or to make sure I am not breathing so loudly or huffing & puffing as to attract attention. To make sure I am taking up as little space as possible.
I mean, wtf? I am not asking to be praised as the Goddess of All Beauty. I’m just want to not feel as if I should be ashamed to exist among the public. Like I am bad, faulty, unlovable, inhuman, & undeserving.
I was once, many years ago, appalled at my grandmother when she said to me “You have to be strong b/c the world hates fat black women” Fuck all if it isn’t true.
My first thought: over 300? Really? I would have said around 230. Fantastic! Really fit and tightened up!
No, that’s pretty much what 300 pounds looks like. 230 pounds generally looks much smaller than that. People just have no idea what heavier weights actually look like. She does look fantastic though, I desperately covet her dress.
Derek, I’d like to remind you that EVERYONE does something in their private lives that will drive up the cost of health insurance premiums, real estate, material goods, gas, whatever. We all “pay” for the “choices,” the “lifestyles,” and the status of other people. The only way you can escape THAT is to move to your own planet.
IOW: What Jill said in the OP. Reading is fundamental. There’s a huge difference between actually making active lifestyles and healthful eating a possible reality for people, and degrading and shaming someone who is fat. Here’s a hint: doing the latter does nothing to advance the former.
What I find interesting about our culture’s beliefs about being fat is that, given the kind of work most Americans do, our perception of what causes “fatness” is almost 180 degrees from what actually does. Specifically, “laziness causes obesity”. Or “selfishness and greed cause obesity.”
In order to have time to exercise, you need to either have a job that promotes physical activity, which most of us don’t, or you need to carve time out of your day to be physically active. Likewise, in order to eat healthily, you need to be able to carve time out of your day to cook. So the harder you work, the fatter you are likely to be. Pull 60 hours a week? Get fat. Commute for 2 hours each day so your kids can have a good school and a big yard and you can have a job that supports them well? Get fat. Keep your house spotlessly clean despite having children? Get fat. Spend a lot of your time driving your kids to activities? Get fat. Spend a lot of your time volunteering and doing community-benefiting activities? Get fat.
The only way to remain thin, if you aren’t metabolically blessed with a body that just stays thin no matter what you do, is to take time out of your day to focus on *you* and your health. Don’t spend that time working, don’t spend it serving other people like your kids or your elderly mom or the homeless… spend it on yourself. Instead of eating whatever’s convenient, you need to obsess over and be very finicky about food, to the point of being rude in social gatherings because you can’t eat with others. If you’re on a very low calorie diet and suffering hunger pangs, you might need to accept that you’re probably going to be mean and nasty to other people because you’re in pain and your blood sugar’s low, so if you’re a good person who hates to be cruel to others, you might find it impossible to diet.
As nearly as I can see, “thin” is a state achieved either by people who don’t work for it at all, who just have a fast metabolism, and who may or may not be fit… or by people who have time and money to focus intently on their own personal health and well being at the expense of everyone else in their lives. So no, being obese probably does not mean you are a bad, lazy, stupid person. It might very well mean that you’re a hard-working, generous and giving person who’s unwilling to deprive others who need you of your resources, and so can’t get the time to do what’s necessary to lose weight. In fact, given that lack of sleep provably causes weight gain, I’d argue that driven, ambitious people who deprive themselves of sleep to get things done are more likely to be fat.
It would not be okay to shame people for being overweight even if it *was* caused by laziness, because your body is your own and no one has the right to tell you what to do with it, and unlike drugs and alcohol, fatness does not impede your ability to think and reason, so it has essentially no effect whatsoever on other people. (No, I don’t accept the whole “fat people use more medical resources!” argument, and I never will so long as the majority of people who have lifestyle-related medical needs are young men who get hurt doing stupid risky stuff. I notice no one castigates motorcycle drivers who go helmetless.) But, in fact, it’s even more unfair to do so, because being overweight is most likely caused by not having free time, which is either the result of poverty or the result of spending your free time caring for others. Or, it may also be caused by illnesses *or* treatment for illnesses; antidepressants, for example, make many people gain weight.
Alara, you just blew my mind. That’s fabulous. And true. So nicely done.
Mind if I toss in some more? People lament obesity in children. They probably should, given the risks to kids’ future health. But do these same folks vote in enough local funds for mandatory gym in their local school systems? Or to repair local parks to make them usable? Or to support sufficient police presence so kids can play safely in unsafe areas? Do they do anything to promote good nutrition and physical activity for the kids in their sphere of influence–and to make them practical realities?
I got a dollar here that says the answers to those and similar questions is a resounding NO.
Being thin in this culture is first a matter of genetics, then a matter of money and time. If you ain’t got the right genes (the kind that resist weight gain, which science now suspects strongly of having its own beaucoup complex survival instinct and mechanisms)…then you better have enough money to buy yourself the time to get there.
Wow. How dare she be happy and not hate herself?!
Damn it, some people are fat and that’s fine, if folks are worried about, why don’t they implement policies that make regular exercise more feasible for people who want to exercise?
Roses, you’re right; if we are ALL lying about our weight, we have no idea what any weight “really” looks like. I hadn’t really thought about that! Thanks for the enlightenment today.
And I mean higher weights in particular, I wasn’t erasing your statement about higher weights! I was agreeing w/it.
By “we”–I guess I meant me. I weigh 170 lbs, but often lie and say 165. Now, really, who gives a shit about five measely pounds and why do I still reflexively do that? (They’ve messed with my mind.)
Derek, I wasn’t being PC, I really do think she looks great. Happiness radiates from a person and has everything to do with their appearance…BTW, doesn’t happiness and self-esteem influence health, too?
Wow, I wanted to leave a comment and I wrote and essay. Apologies.
I’m not at all bothered by the fact that some people are bigger than is healthy- it’s none of my goddamn business.
I know marathon runners and triathletes who injure themselves all the time, but I don’t presume to question their choices (okay, so that’s partly because I’m making similar ones, but you get the idea).
People hurt themselves pursuing all sorts of hobbies and put themselves in danger and at risk performing a number of daily activities, why pick on eating? Especially in a culture that has shows like Top Chef and Good Easts that highlight and celebrate epicurean delights (I love those shows.)
If someone wants to gain weight, lost weight, not care about weight, or simply maintain- they should be left alone to make that decision for themselves.
@Alara,
I agree completely. I’m undertaking a very heavy exercise regimen in preparation for my first athletic competition since high school. That’s two to three hours a day of non-continuous activity. How much weight do you lose with this kind of activity and investment in time? Not much, not only is it unhealthy to lose more than 1-2 pounds a week, but unwise from a performance perspective. I do have to lose weight because it’s literally weighing me down, but it requires a lot of patience and perseverance unless you want to be hospitalized and placed under watch. Most people don’t have that kind of money, and I don’t think many doctors would go for it.
You CAN drastically lower your caloric intake and it will work but one of the rare but ever-present dangers of consuming under 800 calories daily is sudden death. Not many people are willing to take that risk, especially not to get healthier.
Gaining weight is extremely easy for the average person. Evolution has made our bodies err on the side of caution in fear of scarcity. Losing weight on the other hand, is a significant investment in time that most people don’t have and in the case of some who’s 300 lbs overweight, is hardly an overnight job. Meanwhile there are unscrupulous people out there who capitalize on the average dieter’s lack of time/ability to research what healthy dieting is, and what it means. (Healthy “diet” is a daily habit, not a temporary regime) Instead, they set dieters back in there progress, because any change in eating habits tends to lead to weight-loss at first, but then when they start gaining weight again, they become distraught at failure and tend to put on even more weight than before. These people should be fined as swindlers for selling bullshit.
One of the reasons I have the luxury of being able to lose weight is not because I’m a hard worker. I’m a college student whose parents can afford to put me through without my having to get a job or take on debt. I’m also in a situation where I can’t increase my courseload any further because of prerequisites, I have that kind of time, and I don’t take it for granted.
Still, all of this presumes that we shouldn’t discriminate against overweight and obese people because it’s not their choice. This is intellectually lazy though. Choice is the epitome of freedom, and if you can discriminate against (read: punish) people for making choices you find undesirable, then it’s not really a free society, is it?
Holy shit. That was nasty.
“So how do we reconcile the bizarre extremes; the pressure to be painfully thin and the backlash that glorifies obesity?”
Wow. Somehow I missed the “backlash that glorifies obesity”, all I saw was a backlash against fat hate. So now less hate = glorification. And this was on theRoot? Wow.
And ummmm, does the author not realize that her entire article re-inforces the “pressure to be painfully thin” == which by the way, who’s feeling that “pain” in the painfully thin anyway. The gazer or the person who is starving themself? Wow. just wow.
Did the author bother to address the economic inequalities that lead to obesity? Or address the way these economic inequalities often affect minorities disproportionatly? Not that I read.
And she speaks about the Dove campaign “Hopefully the idea and images will gain traction and lead to some real and lasting changes in how we view ourselves and the body type that we idealize.” — Ummm, maybe we SHOULD NOT “IDEALIZE” BODY TYPES AT ALL!
duh.
Also, apologies for the large number of typos in my comment. Good Easts? Damn.
And Derek, people who mouth off about things they don’t really understand put themselves at risk. I don’t want to have my tax dollars used to keep you on a feeding tube after someone knocks you into a coma for being a loudmouth jerk who calls them “stupid, bad, lazy”. So shut up before you start costing me money.
@Derek, Not only is your argument fat shaming nonsense, it is extremely class biased of you to argue about tax dollars and health. In case you are not aware, the US is a pay per use country and as far as I can tell NO insurance companies are suffering. They simply refuse to insure people they consider high risk, so exactly what is this costing you again?
People like you that privilege money over healthcare completely disgust me. Instead of seeing a living breathing human being, you see dollars and risk. This is an example of exactly how badly you have allowed capitalism to warp any semblance of humanity you may have inside you. No matter what the reason, if someone is sick they deserve to be cared for and the idea that someone only deserves care or sympathy if they did not bring it upon themselves is ridiculous. If a newborn baby can be considered uninsurable, what kind of safety net does anyone have?
I love it. It’s like people are going to go out and become obese so they can act as well as Sidibe. Because that’s what people do. They purposely become members of marginalized groups.
Everyone’s already said pretty much everything I wanted to say, but I want to add that I hate, hate, HATE when people presume that fat people are always depressed; not just that they are secretly dissatisfied with their weight, but also that they are overeating for some horrible psychopathological reason. And of course, it’s just because they eat a lot, there couldn’t be any other reason.
Just because I like proving points, here’s a picture of me, during which time I did not excersise, ate too much fat, sugar and salt, and was generally very unhealthy. I also got sick a lot.
What do you notice about this picture?
I vote that “young men who take stupid risks in disproportionate numbers” in driving accidents should be excluded from my auto premiums.
Oh, dude. I’m in the neighborhood of 220 to 230 pounds, thanks to the magic beans I take for my depression. Only about 5% of American women are fatter than I, in fact. And even *I* probably couldn’t weigh 300 pounds if I tried. What the poop is with this idea that a 300-pound woman on screen will make us all 300 pounds? Most women probably couldn’t even manage to weigh what *I* do, let alone what Sidibe weighs. Genetic capacity and set points, anyone?
And as for the health shit, I demand to see Villarosa’s iTunes file, her DVD collection, her bookshelves, and her TiVo to make sure nobody in there smokes or drinks like a fish or has a drug problem of any kind. Unless it’s all Mormon Tabernacle Choir and nothing else, I call flaming BS.
I find it interesting. There is a misconception people have about “big” people and their health. My mom who is 5′6″ and probably weighs about 180 is considered overweight. However, her blood pressure is great. She suffers from hypothyroidism (which is genetic).
All I’m saying is that what may hold true for some doesn’t hold true for all. A person could be overweight but have great blood pressure, for instance.
But why the eff are we even talking about this?
If i hear another person talk about a “real woman” again I’m going to loose my mind
oh, and i happen to love my avatar
“It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and loving yourself”
“[. . .]are people delusional? A five-foot-something woman tipping the scales at over 300 pounds is not something to celebrate. That’s SUPER fat.”
One of these things is not like the other.
Lesley at Fatshionista also talked brilliantly about some of the ridiculous response to Sidibe:
Sweet Machne, thanks for linking. I am so impressed that Peterson got a reply from Edelstein; she really got under his skin alright.
I know its hard to eat healthy and exercise when you have zero time, but its not impossible. My mother works 2 full time jobs and she still manages to eat healthy (mostly) and exercise. She carefully plans ahead, brings healhy food to work, etc. It is difficult but she does this because it is important to her and yeah, she does look fantastic. **sigh** anyone else out there the plain daughter of a beautiful woman?
I’m not trying to make any one feel bad for not doing this. I just kind of felt like the message I was getting from the comments was “this is impossible so don’t even try”. I don’t like that kind of mindset. Just beacuse you will not be able to get the “Ideal” weight is no reason to give up. Eating right and exercising will make you healthier no matter what your weight is.
“Eating right and exercising will make you healthier no matter what your weight is.”
Actually no, kiki, exercising makes me really, really sick. Thanks for your concern, though why you thought it was in short supply is beyond me.
Just beacuse you will not be able to get the “Ideal” weight is no reason to give up.
Oh, sure, the kind of “giving up” where you launch your acting career with a reportedly brilliant performance in a film with a lot of buzz? Remember, ladies, your accomplishments don’t actually count as accomplishments if you’re fat.
Oh wow. So people think that eating healthy and exercising for healths sake, not weight, is worthy of that kind of snark? No wonder so many people give up on their health. (Notice that I said health, not idiotic standard of what is beautiful)
I read the whole Root article.
My response is:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWTFAAAAAAAAAAAA
kiki, if you’re responding to my comment, I want to point out that this post is about Gabourey Sidibe being judged for how she looks, not for how she behaves. Jill is criticizing this in the original post. Perhaps Sidibe does exercise regularly and eat healthfully; perhaps she doesn’t. We just don’t know. The impulse to respond to images of happy or accomplished or attractive fat people with caveats about health and exercise is part of the dynamic Jill is critiquing here.
What the fucking fuck?
If I’m not mistaken, she wore padding to play Precious, both because Precious was pregnant and she was not, but also because she isn’t as fat as Precious. Which may account for the “she looks thinner than I expected” reactions.
But it’s just predictable as all hell, isn’t it, that any little nod towards a fat person’s humanity (like, say, being able to buy clothes that aren’t shapeless, styleless synthetic schmattas) will result in howls of outrage that obesity is being “glorified.” How it’s being “glorified” in this instance isn’t at all clear to me; Precious’s life looks pretty damn miserable and unglamorous. Sidibe’s getting praised to the skies for her performance, and she isn’t really all that much heavier than Mo’Nique, as far as I can see. Maybe it’s because Sidibe not only plays the protagonist in this film and Mo’Nique essentially plays a monster (as opposed to her usual comedic role, where her weight is part of the joke) but she also *isn’t* downtrodden and depressed and speaks about how great she is without self-deprecation that she’s getting all this scrutiny and shame for her weight and, say, Mo’Nique isn’t.
Maybe that’s the key: she can be fat in public, she just shouldn’t be so damn self-confident about it. Doesn’t she know she has to talk shit about herself to be acceptably fat?
“(Notice that I said health, not idiotic standard of what is beautiful)”
Oh, well that changes everything. Obviously we’re all under a moral imperative to be _healthy_. Lectures ahoy!
kiki, you don’t know what makes every body healthy. What works for your mother’s body (great for her) would make me literally incapable of moving. For days. Not because I am not used to the exercise (US Veteran here), but because it is dangerous for my body to do that any more. It is literally unhealthy for me to do more than light exercise for more than 3-5 minutes per day. Walking to the bus to pick my kid up from school…counts as exercise and actually over exerts me. I have to ration out how much movement I am allowed in a day. I can’t tailor my diet to that, because it would make Jenny Craig look like an all you can eat buffet. I think the snark comes from your universal statement that if someone isn’t doing this miraculous thing your mother is doing it is because we aren’t trying hard enough. Believe me.
I wish I had that kind of body again…the kind that used to carry me seven to ten miles a day, or thousands of meters in a swimming pool when my legs shattered, or that was able to tolerate fifteen minutes of yoga when I wasn’t able to swim anymore. You don’t know why some people don’t work out. It isn’t because we don’t give a fuck about our health. It’s because we have to figure every minute of our day into our health.
But like lauredhel said. Lectures ahoy!
And by “that kind of body”, I should say, one that doesn’t feel is betraying me, because that is something I struggle with, and something that sentiments like these don’t help.
You can’t everyone just see that she’s a good actor. Let her deal with her weight when and how she wants. I am so sick of closed minded people. Why do people always have to call them name… GET OVER IT AMERICA… Obesity is here people so suck it up and shut up about it all ready..